There is a lot going on in my little world at moment and I thought about whether I should share this with you all or not?
I have chosen to share our story in hopes it will help others and opens up conversations. I have spoken to my Mum and we both agree we want something positive to come out of all of this.
I am know for being strong, good under stressful situations along with being well organised and able to cope well not matter what is going on and doing so with a big bright smile. I am all of those things but for the first time in my life I am suffering from ANXIETY and its a horrible feeling.
Most people will still just see my smile and I could just keep pretending but that doesn’t actually help me and more importantly it doesn’t help anyone else in the same or similar situations. I want to open conversations and lets start talking and sharing how well feel.
Why do I have anxiety?
When clearly I have been through so much before and coped? Surely I can get through this? I am doing my Mindfulness and Meditation practice surely that’s enough to help right?
Because simply I have an overwhelming life right now!
My son Rossi is going to Starship hospital next week for a Heart procedure and it breaks my heart seeing his anxiety levels go up as we get closer to his procedure.
I think what has really rocked my world is my Mum has Cancer. It’s been so confronting for me seeing someone I love so much having to confront Cancer and what having Cancer means. She has always been so strong, never sick and has been the most loving , nurturing mum she is the glue that holds us all together.
She has been by my side holding my hand and looking after with great love and care all throughout my Heart journey and now its my turn to hold her hand.
For me its coming back to my self compassion and being kind enough to myself and knowing i need to look after myself and figure out what myself care plan is.