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An intimate space where I share my thoughts, experiences and news on all thing’s wellbeing and life. If you’ve got your own story to share, I’d love to hear it – please contact me to feature on this page.


When Resilience is no longer enough

When Resilience is no longer enough | Emma-Kate Wellbeing

As Matariki celebrations draw to an end this week, I find myself in a place of deep personal reflection, both for how I feel and how I don't want to feel in my personal life and as a business owner. And when, like me, you’re self-employed those worlds often become one.

I see myself as a resilient person, I have a long list of events in myself that can prove that. But lately I have come to understand that it is no longer enough to be resilient. The new piece of the puzzle for me is being adaptable to what the environment is trying to tell, or sometimes scream out, to me.

For me adaptability is key after all. The fact that we’re still alive today isn’t just because our forebears could ‘weather storms’ well… I am pretty sure that those that could adapt to the ever changing environment were the ones that ultimately survived.

Why am I talking about resilience and adaptability?

Because right now just about everyone I come across, myself included, is feeling stressed and overwhelmed by our ever changing environment. Covid, flu session, winter illness, inflation, economic crisis, the list seems endless and we can’t ignore it, as it’s being played out on the news and social media, and it seems to be all we can talk about.

I know I am resilient and I can do hard stuff, but honestly, that gets exhausting after a while. So what can I do? Well, I can choose to adapt.

For me the first step of adaptability is to take a step back. I just simply stop and pause, and give myself some space from all the thoughts that are coming at me. I slow down, do less, and take lots of time for self-care. I reflect in a gentle, meditative way, I am mindful, I journal, and I speak to people around me that I trust.

The second step is to really feel into what is actually adding to my stress, and to look at what I can actually change. For me, the main part of my stress was caused by owning a business, and the question of what the ever changing landscape of Covid, flu, hybrid working and economic down would mean for me and my clients.

For me it meant more cancellations due to illness, clients choosing to have less regular massages to save money, or because they weren’t in the CBD as much. Luckily the Churton Park home was fully booked.

So the answer?

It was to be adaptable and change how I work and what I offer. I was being asked more and more to increase my home hours and offer weekend hours so I have listened and opened up a 3rd practice on the beautiful Kapiti coast at The Lotus Yoga Center in Paraparaumu. I will be there from 12th August 2022 every second Friday and Saturday.

I will be honest being adaptable isn’t always easy, but if you work with it slowly with compassion, self acceptance and flexibility, it can be a very positive experience.

How do I want to feel?

I also looked at how I wanted to feel. I noticed I wanted to feel connected, joyful, grateful, supported and inspired. What I didn’t want to feel was overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, disconnected and unsupported. Knowing what feelings I need to feel in order to thrive really helps me to align with my purpose and goals. Especially when I am trying to make big changes that I know will affect my own ability to take care of myself, stay healthy and have a positive outcome for myself and those around me.

Being aware of what I don't want to feel is twofold. Sitting with those uncomfortable feelings and knowing what they are trying to tell me allows me to have an awareness that something in my world isn’t working and I need to change it. It also helps me to see that I am not thriving and help me move back into my thriving state.

I really think right now it's okay not to be okay. We don't need to have all the answers right now, just step back and give yourself some breathing space. Make sure you have an abundance of self care, like being in nature, going for walks, meditation, good sleep, hygiene, regular massage and learn to come back into looking after yourself before trying to help everyone else.


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